First Meeting of 2016 and Dummies Guide to a Happy Marriage

Posted on January 12th, 2016

Wow! 2015 flew by and we are in 2016. Welcome back to MOPS!

We enjoyed a delicious brunch and I hope you all had some time to chat and connect with the ladies at your table. 
I pray that lasting friendships are formed at your tables this semster and that you are able to feel connected, supported and refreshed when you leave the MOPS meetings!

I want to thank Karen Melles for coming to speak with us about marriage.  She has a lovely, God-centered marriage and I know that I can’t be the only one who left the meeting feeling absolutely inspired!

Here are the notes I took during her talk.  If you missed the meeting, I encourage you to read on. This is some great information!! (Links at the end to a couple of specific things that were mentioned) 
And for you that were there, if there was anything else she said that I missed (or you'd like to elaborate on) please comment on this blog post and share with us. :) 


A Dummies Guide to a Happy Marriage. 

You can have a happy marriage, even if you grew up with a negative marriage role model.

1) God FIRST!
How do you put God first in your marriage? 
Imagine God at the top of a mountain. Climb the mountain to get closer to Him together. 
Close to God —> closer together. 
Do not give up. 
- Pray TOGETHER! There is an intimacy that forms when a couple prays together. It doesnt have to be a marathon prayer session - start with a sentence!  Your prayer lives will grow with your relationship
- Serve together. Work for God together. 


2) Have FUN!
Remember what it was like before kids? Make time to enjoy each other again. 
*Your relationship with your husband is WAY more important than the relationship with your husband*
Your children need that strong marriage relationship role model. 


3) No competition
Do not compete. Do not be threatened by his strengths. We are there to complement eachother. 
Use your spiritual gifts to build your husband up!


4) Make your home a refuge
Make your hsuband feel welcome in his home. Make him WANT to come home.  Do not be too busy to make your house a home.  Your marriage is so important.  Have your kids get excited about him coming home. He will feel so special, appreicated, and loved when all his loved ones greet him!
Initiate evening devotionals as a family. 
Handling arguments/diagreements: apologize that the two of you disagreed. Don’t lie and say you are wrong if you don't believe you are. Say you are sorry that the argument is happening. 
You can build him up, or tear him down. What you do will have an impact on your marriage. Do not go bed angry, swallow your pride. 


5) Emotional needs.
Respect everyone.  Build up your husband, make him feel good about himself. Complement him. Your husband needs unconditional respdct, just like you want unconditional love.  He needs respect - if you dont respect him, someone else might!
Encourage him to be the spiritual leader. 
*Find out what your love language is, and share what your love language is with your husband. 


6) Physical needs.
Men (generally) need more sex than women do.
You do not want him going away to work if he needs that physical need met.
Suprise him! Initiate it ;)


7) Attraction to others
It will happen. There will be chemistry that will happen. Don't think just because you are happy in your marriage that it wont happen, it will. But, don't ruin your life or your kids' life. Dont act on that attraction. 


8) Start and finish with God. 
Amazing marriages come from God. Keep him in the center of your marriage. Pray and read Gods word together as a couple. 



Links:

Marks and Spencer (matching bra and underware, ladies!)
http://www.marksandspencer.com

Love Languages
http://www.5lovelanguages.com
http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/080241270X


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